Wednesday, October 7, 2009

So your a "starving artist"?

What is a starving artist?

Well the literal definition would be - one who creates things who just so happens to be hungry. Hungry for what you may ask? This part of the definition can be skewed - is this artist hungry for calories or is he hungry for people to view his art? I do think in most cases it is the latter. How does one become like this? I like to imagine this scenario.

Picture a summer day, just a few hours afternoon as the sun begins its retreat out into the western sky. In the distance you can hear little Timmy with his OshKosh B'Gosh outfit, stomping on the pavement of his parents drive way.

timmy running

Martha, his mother - who is of course toiling in the kitchen, hears the triumphant little steps of her 7 year recent vaginal spawn. Intrigued to know what he is all fired up about, she looks out the window and sees her son flailing a piece of paper around, darting to the house; while in the background the roar of the school bus fades away.

Nearly out of breath Timmy opens the screen door and yells in an enthusiastic manner, "mama mama look at the grade i got on this drawing!!!"
Martha takes the sheet of paper only to see a horribly scribbled man flying a kite in a crayon field of orange and green. "Wow this is amazing!" she lies encouraging her young boy, "You could be the next Picasso!"
"Really mama, isn't he a famous artist?!" Timmy spoke with big dilated dreams in his eyes.
"Yes son, he sure is - why don't you keep drawing..." she responded with a careless encouragement.

Little did she know what kind of monster she had just created. The words "famous artist" have now been branded in Timmy's malleable mind.

Fast forward 15 years. Our little Timmy is now 22, and has worked very hard on his art. He is much better now and in fact, he thinks he is so good, that he is still perusing his childhood dreams of becoming a famous artist. His mother long ago stoped caring about his art because she realized she was still supporting her son. So now he is starving for attention. Once his mother kicks him out, poor Timmy will go out into the world (most likely the nearest city) yelling with clenched fists, "Mom I'll prove to you that I will become a famous artist!"


If you go to any big city, you can see hundreds of these "Timmy's" pedaling their art on the street, playing music, dancing, reciting horrifying poetry, or doing what ever art thier mothers said they were good at.

Artists are sad people. They try to change the world by being original... but really they just want to prove their families wrong, because deep down inside, they know you need to make money in this world... with out money you are nothing and no one cares about you.


So, all you starving artists out there - get a job. No one cares about your art except for you and maybe your similarly pathetic girl friend.

God damn I am a hypocrite.



Anonymous said...

Damn right!

Art is something only rich folks have a luxury to do. If not... then the crazies will rule the world.

Anonymous said...

I hate to tell you this, but us artists play just as important of a role in society as you white collared workers. Just because you have little to no imagination and choose to engage in a boring office job for the rest of your life, doesn't mean you have the right to criticize others for choosing something different than yourself. If you don't agree with how "starving artists" choose to live THEIR lives, doesn't mean you should blog about them, because you are no better of a person than us artists are.

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